new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
