is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
