So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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