Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
