I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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