How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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