I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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