guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Did I show you my penis last night?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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