at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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