Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
