Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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