No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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