New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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