the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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