alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Green mimosas i think yes
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
