either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
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Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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