and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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