We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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