Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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