I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
