we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
