Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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