He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
