Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
