what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
