I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
