I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
