dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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