I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
