Kiss
Puke
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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