We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize