so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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