why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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