next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
