The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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