Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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