we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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