so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize