yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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