Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
