check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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