You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So here I am, sexting at work.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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