i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
