I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
