Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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