Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
