he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
