so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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