Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
