i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
