I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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