I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
