He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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