i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
