We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
