3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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