At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
