i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry about my life...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
