mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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