I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
